Choose to be Positive—For a Great New Year
The more you give (the more you give)
The more you live (the more you live)
Your happiness
Is relative
And if you're feeling like crap
It's time to face the fact
It's your prerogative
To be positive
~Theme Song to the CBS Series “B Positive.” Music & Lyrics by Keb’ Mo'
In my last article, I discussed how an attitude of daily gratitude can help you enjoy a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. And support your corporate culture! I also noted how many scientific studies have discovered measurable health and psychological benefits to “counting your blessings” and “looking at the bright side,” even in times of international turmoil, economic distress, and personal insecurity.
At the same time, I mentioned how practicing gratitude does not mean ignoring the challenges, dangers, and suffering all around us. To be sure, life is a mix of good and bad, light, and dark, calm and chaotic. Therefore, leaning into the reality of loss without letting grief and pessimism become overwhelming is the mark of a mature, fully integrated person. In fact, psychologists tell us that without sadness, happiness has no meaning. Or as novelist Jonathan Safran Foer once said, “You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
As we head into the new year, traditionally a time of introspection and goal setting, it very much makes sense to consider ways to practice gratitude on a daily basis. One way to do this is to train our brains to think positively. In Jon Acuff’s 2021 book, Soundtracks – The Surprising Solution to Overthinking, the New York Times best-selling author and motivator defines “overthinking” as what happens when “your brain spins on a thought or an idea for longer than you anticipated.” In other words, it’s what occurs when a thought becomes an obsession, one that traps the conscious brain like a miniature black hole, draining us of everything we need to be both happy and successful.
“Overthinking isn’t a personality trait,” Acuff writes to this point. “It’s the sneakiest, greediest form of fear. It’s sneaky because overthinking masquerades as being prepared. It’s greedy because overthinking gobbles up time, creativity, and energy. Overthinking steals books, businesses, diets, and hope. It’s the most expensive thing people and companies invest in without ever knowing.”
It's true. Constantly contemplating all of life’s “What ifs...?” can be paralyzing. Likewise, spending your mental energies devising countless contingency plans—and then contingency plans for your contingency plans—is ultimately an exercise in futility. Yes, Benjamin Franklin warned us, “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail,” but at some point, you must embrace the Nike sportswear slogan and “Just Do It.”
Fortunately, we can choose how we think. We can train our brains to think positively. And thoughts can possess genuine power. Every great accomplishment began as a conscious thought, an act of will. Even minor achievements and tasks require such intentional volition. Did you have a cup of coffee this morning? If so, I can say with certainly the cup didn’t just appear magically or through an act of God.
You either chose to make it yourself and then did so. Or you chose to travel to a restaurant or coffee shop and order it. (If you did enjoy a cup at all.) It’s this same act of positive conscious thought that has led to everything from the harnessing of fire to the construction of the International Space Station.
For as the adage tells us, “If you think you can, or if you think you can’t, you’re probably right.” Accordingly, successful people certainly recognize the possibility of failure, but they don’t obsess over it. They allow themselves to dream and then push themselves in the direction of their own desires. With such a can-do attitude, even failure isn’t permanent, only merely a learning experience that leads to ultimate success. (Or as Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that will not work.”)
Please note that “positive thinking” isn’t the same as “wishing.” Buying a lottery ticket and thinking you will win the jackpot won’t turn the odds in your favor. Likewise, thinking you can become a professional basketball player or opera singer is unlikely to get you into the NBA or the stage at Teatro alla Scalla. We call this fallacious thought process “Magical Thinking,” because it’s not reality-based. (Children are masters of this.)
So how can you tell the difference? Jon Acuff provides three simple questions to ask yourself to test your thoughts:
Is it true?
Just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s factual. Gather evidence around what you’re focusing on to counter the negative.
2. Is it helpful?
Does what you are thinking help you get through the day feeling good, or does it pull you down? Does it set you up to help others or to go around being a grump to all whom you encounter?
3. Is it kind?
Is what you’re doing kind to you? Or are you beating yourself up for some mistake you made last week? Also, is the thought kind to others? If not, you’re burning emotional energy that could be put to better uses.
Do yourself a favor. Start the new year determined to maintain a positive outlook. Reading and internalizing a copy of Soundtracks will set you on a good path toward this resolution. For more insights on how to use positive thinking to improve your company culture, contact me @ laura@conoverconsulting.com.