Prepare for 2022—By Letting Go
Before you know it, planet Earth will complete its annual orbit of the sun and 2022 will be upon us. Throughout history, cultures worldwide have seen New Year’s celebrations as opportunities to take stock of one’s life, reflect on the triumphs (and errors) of the previous 12 months, and make plans for the year ahead.
Here in America, writing up “New Year’s Resolutions” is an annual tradition for many. According to Time, the 10 most popular – and broken – New Year’s Resolutions are Lose Weight/Get Fit, Quit Smoking, Learn Something New, Eat Healthier, Get Out of Debt/Save Money, Spend More Time with the Family, Travel to New Places, Reduce Stress, Volunteer, and Drink Less.
Personally, I try to use the holiday season to prep for the new year. I organize my desk and office (or at least try to). I set objectives for my business and myself. And I re-evaluate my commitments to groups, organizations, and people, including and especially, personal relationships.
Not to sound immodest, but I’m often amazed by the number and variety of relationships I have. Some are deep and long-lasting. Others are short and casual. Some I consider essential to my happiness and well-being. Some are extremely casual and barely register on my emotional radar. And a few— thankfully just a few—I would have to define as toxic. I’m talking about people who initially seem beneficial but who can demand too much time, are often dishonest/unreliable, who are “users,” and/or who create doubt and suspicion where none should exist.
Like a seasoned computer that slows down and glitches due to years of exposure to viruses, spyware, malware and conflicting program applications, our minds can get gummed up by the tangle of relationships, both good and bad, we accumulate over time. To operate at our best, we need to rid ourselves of unnecessary, unhelpful, or redundant relationships and commitments the same way tech needs to be periodically purged of corrupted software.
Year’s end, with its traditional focus on self-reflection, is the perfect time to perform this life-saving exercise. I know I’ve spent too much time hoping the bullies, parasites, flakes, and other toxic people in my life would finally get better, giving them grace and sympathy in hopes they would mend their ways, and staying in relationships with them, only to be disappointed time and again. For those who won’t change, the best choice is to just say “no” to more toxicity.
Of course, in business as well as one’s personal life, letting go is often difficult…yet necessary. The value of cutting cords is explained brilliantly in one of my favorite books on the topic, Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships that All of us Have to Give up in Order to Move Forward by Dr. Henry Cloud. Here’s a short excerpt from the preface I feel articulates the value of purging oneself of bad relationships far better than I ever could:
“In business, endings often are absolute necessities for a turnaround or for growth to occur. Businesses must sometimes let go of old product lines or even entire areas of business whose day has passed. To get to the next level and often even to sustain their companies' current levels of health, business leaders must shut down yesteryear's good ideas, strategies, or involvements in order to have the resources and focus to take their organizations to tomorrow. Sometimes it means that employees have to be let go too.
Endings are also an important factor in our personal lives. There are relationships that should go away, practices and phases that must be relinquished, and life stages that should come to an end to open up the space for the next one. A breakup, an ending of some friendships or activities, or an unplugging from some commitments often signals the beginning of a whole new life.”
My recommendation? Grab a copy of Dr. Cloud’s book and read it on the plane, at the ski resort, or wherever you are this holiday season. Give yourself the gift of starting 2022 without the emotional baggage you carried around during 2021. You will be happier and more productive.
Speaking of which, my company, Conover Consulting, specializes in helping businesses with leadership, culture, and compensation. Possessing more than 25 years of experience, we enable companies to better thrive. If you’d like to know how we can help you exceed your goals in 2022, please contact me today at laura@conoverconsulting.com.